what's in a piercing?

so I pierced my nose on friday. I thought it would look nice. I've always wanted to put an extra hole in my face, and hell why not on the nose? So I did and knowing how my mother feels about the situation, went ahead with my plans and put a stud in there. Feeling a bit guilty that my parents are coming up to visit this weekend and I do not want them to have a heart attack once they get here, I decided to just tell them on the phone. Lesson well learned. I think my parents are in the process of taking all my pictures out of the family albums. My dad, in his regular screaming fashion told me that I am not an Indian and that only crazy people and punks pierce their face. Another lesson well learned: become an Indian before altering anything on your face. For the sake of my parents I think I will take it out. But I just don;t understand where this animosity is coming from. My parents would not react like this if I told them I was pregnant. Which is kind of sad. I know they were brought up in a different culture and they are not exposed to different kinds of people the way I am here in SF where it is typical with someone with tattoos all over their body to be nanny. But I still do not understand why I am getting the silent treatment from my mom. As if I am being taught some lesson, but in what? We should have gone over this when I was 15, and now that I think about it I gave them a pretty easy time as an adolescent. I don't do drugs, have promiscuous sex, waste their money, gamble, or wear the clothes my grandmother offers me. I actually feel offended. Here I am in my pursuit to becoming a psychologist, a person who tries to understand the premise of judgment, stereotype, and prejudice. I want to become a person who can relate to different types of people and help them feel good about who they are. And here are my parents telling me the complete opposite. Telling me that looks matter. That people will think I am a "punk". And so what? What does punk really mean? If it means that I am non judgmental and open minded then fine! I think this is more than just a stupid piercing. I think its control. The fact that I am 21 will never change for my parents. Be I 31 or 41, I suppose they always want to be influential in some way. So I am going to take the damn thing out. Most of it is because as long as I am dependent on my parents I will play by their rules. But this time I am not letting them raise their flag because I feel guilty for what I have done (I do not), I just don't have the nerves or the desire to argue about some juvenile matter.

the never ending

there's a war in my head
i want it to end
back and forth the opposing sides fight
they knock my brains back and forth
i can hear them yelling to one another
why are they fighting?
i want this to end
it weakens my heart
tum tum goes my heart
the drops of the blood that fill my veins
that boil inside me
that fuel my head
that let the sides fight
inside my head
drop drop goes the blood in my heart
and the drops of the water i feel on my head
on my head drop the drops
the drops of the water come from above
drip drop drip drop
droop goes my face and the fight that's inside
why the fight? why the fight?
i want to be walking barefoot on the grass
and feel the earth on my skin
tickle my feet and tickle my head
so the fight would stop
it would stop in my head

randomness

little tiny earthquakes in my head shuffle my thoughts and interrupt my stream of..... already forgot. i look around my room and see parts of myself, parts of my friends, parts of my life and it all seems to make sense. but in my head, only nonsense. whenever im in doubt, i disregard the convention of time, put myself in a bubble and hope that nobody pokes it and make it pop. i used to think that we are all inside one of those glass balls with water in them and when you shake it little pieces of glitter fall and make you go "aww" except instead of those glitters its the stars and when the glass gets shaken we feel an earthquake. thats how i like to interpret things, so simple, yet it makes so much sense. speaking of earthquakes, when i was younger and recently moved to the US I experienced my 1st earthquake, i remember being so frightened and all the kids in my building came out and sat around talking about how horrified we were. i remember this one guy saying that he was in the shower when it happened and at that moment he thought that a big giant picked up the earth and started shaking it around in his hands. i believed him, because he was older than i was. i still think that. it just makes more sense.
i ask alot of questions, so many that when i actually come up with the answers i forget which question i am answering, but then i don't think it really matters, kind of like in Hitchhikers Guide, if you have the answer then why does the question really matter? maybe its always 42, regardless of the question.
Currently Reading: Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

i just have a few questions

where is the red cross and relief for New Orleans? Why arn't there helicopters dropping food and water to the starving and dehydrated people? why are there people trapped in the middle of a puddle and no help is on the way? why have 3 days passed and still nothing? If this were to happen in any other city, would we see the same kind of help? I doubt it.