i live in the projects

or so it appears. every day its something new. every day its some new problem. someone getting hit or mugged or screaming and fighting and middle of the night phone calls. i feel so out of my skin. the floors creak and i have absolutely no escape.

current mood: Dostoevsky
hobbies: arts and crafts, day dreaming, your-mom jokes.

a wise friend once told me...

"Remember, there are plenty of pints of guinness with Vica written all over them somewhere on this planet. You just gotta go find them."

I began my search right here in Oakland- went to the most AMAZING restaurant last night. the word is BBQ ribs. the restaurant is Evert and Jones. the food is gastronimical. a humongous plate of bbq, side of sweet potatoes and coleslaw and an amazing corn bread muffin. i wet my panties a little bit just waiting for the food. still thinking about it.

Oscars tonight....

v-day. the after thought.

this year on valentine's day i actually noticed it. such an odd and random awareness of an extremely ridiculous "holiday." everyone at the office got flowers delivered.... cards being sent, candy grams and happy good looking couples infesting my 5 block radius at work. i decided to romance myself that night and went to Trader Joes to pick up some dinner material. I was haunted again by couples getting ready for their big dates. And then there was me.... going through my usual grocery list. i felt a little in the "spirit" and picked up some brownie mix and ended up pigging out on my baked goods with Josh and his mom upstairs and their giant TV.



so what is it about this hallmark of a holiday that sets people off? girls tell their boyfriends they don't want to make a big stink of it when deep down inside they wish to put on a red silk dress and be lured away by their loved ones with flowers and poems and such...



it is ridiculous that we have to be told when to be romantic, when to send flowers, when to show each other that we care. why can't we be spontaneous? why can't we randomly leave a long stemmed rose at our crushe's car, show up unannounced with a pack of beer and a Molly Ringwald film, run away for a few hours and watch the lights and people from some quiet nook up in North Beach, up in the Coit Tower or Twin Peaks or Tilden Park. Why do we need to do this all synchronized like some sort of programmed zombies?



that is my two cents on valentine's day. i'm not bitter, just amused. completely and utterly surprised by how much a hallmark holiday can make people squirm in their chairs and get down on one knee to their perfect someone.



currently listening to:

Beirut

Peter, Bjorn & John

sunny days....

maybe it was the weather, or something else, but i was happy this weekend. saturday Clay and I drove out to Point Reyes, its up north on this crooked peninsula and it was immaculate. we drove through a few small towns on the way and it slightly reminded me of my trip up to nor cal not too long ago. the scenery was beautiful... really reminded me of my time in Northern France this past summer. we played in the sand and water and climed some rocks and talked the deep talk and thoughts and feelings and then headed back. it was incredible how getting out of this city for just a few hours can have such a drastic affect on me. i feel really good now. today it was another warm and sunny day and i rode my bike around the lake and read my book at the local coffee shop. im trying to reconstruct my old routine in this new place that i'm in and i think its working.

my new goal is to write. i know im not a great writer... especially looking at my blogs and posts. but im really considering travel writing. maybe its naive and maybe its a wrecklace idea but i feel good just thinking about it and i think i will give it a shot. im not sure how to corner this new dream of mine or how to even approach it but its a new idea and i am crazy about it.

im also crazy about a few new things in my life:
chai tea latte
stepping on dead leaves to make a crunchy noise
the food network
overlooking people's reading material on BART
literal humor
zombies