my irish soul mate...

and we sing crimson and clover, and over and over.

Erin came to visit me the past few days and it was the most refreshing feeling i have had in a very long time. i literally had tears rolling down my cheeks when i saw her on the corner of Market and 3rd. i can safely say that she is one of the most amazing and extra ordinary people that i have ever met, and i think the feeling is mutual! i showed her around the Golden Gate and couldn't stop laughing the entire time that she was here.

being the globe trotter that she is, i got that sense of adventure back again when she asked me if i wanted to accompany her to Canada... i had to stay for work sakes. but then again.... can i take off again? can i be wild and crazy again? can i test myself again? and the answer is simple. so i am thinking again about S. Korea.... to teach or not to teach?

So while I ponder my fate, Erin is yet again walking around the world. i just still can't believe what great friends we are and how much of an amazing time we had the past few days and how well we understand and read each other. its with people and relationships like this that i validate my irrational decision making.

so now i feel really really good. im getting closer to finding out more about myself.
going to see Devotchka tomorrow at the Fillmore.

fucking napoleon

listen to your mother.
but keep the crying off your PDA,
Blackjack go black and I am left phoneless, broken, bound to your distant selfishness

i've learned enough in school to know that you end up on an island, all alone. with no me.

and where is your army now?
my borders are blocked, all by my feminism, all by me- woman. my head up high laughing at you short man. forget the broken phone and lost contacts and picture messages. at least i have my sanity, now.

your attempts to blockade are a joke, i ended my hunger strike days ago, and all on my own accord. so don't be coming after me again, not with that mindless, dull, and over aged guillotine. my head sees things clearly, on or off this worn out body.


and i spent the past two days in Ani world. and i feel good. i feel inspired. i feel like a little of myself is back. she is such an inspiration to me. i have imagined meeting her for such a long time that when i finally had the chance, all i wanted was to gaze at her in admiration, completely at a loss for words.

i am ready to rid myself of toxic elements in my life. i am reminded of my admiration for the finer things in life. i am looking for a new project, a new goal, a new me. ready ready, take me.

happy birthday.....

Happy Birthday Asher, I miss you a lot <3

Robyn and I had a moment today just thinking about you....

to see and to be scene

Art Murmur, or First Friday is the scene. These hipsters are all hella hyphy. These are the perfect terms to describe these scensters. Art murmur happens on the first friday of each month. It's basically a bunch of hippies getting together at a few local art galleries in Oakland, smoking their joints, drinking their drinks, and acting all hyphy. You walk through the various galleries of local artists and some of the stuff is really trippy, some kind of boring. It's basically an excuse for the kids to come out and play, show off their new dread locks and "vintage" clothing and run in to old friends. It's like a contest of who is more East Bay at this event. Random people playing random instruments on the street. Everyone looks kind of dirty, but in a really cool way. They populate the streets and bring their buses and vans and some even their kids, dressing them in ponchos and Chilean hats. Very intriguing.

Caroline and I had a moment when we were looking at a piece of art with 3 images on it, all contortions of a butterfly:

V: Hey Caroline, that kind of looks like the Rorschach, what do you see?
C: I see your mom's vagina and over there her back tattoo... yep that's her tramp stamp alright.

silence

Random Guy: I was with your mom last night and that is definitely her vagina.
V: Your an asshole. Caroline lets get out of here.

silence. laughter filled with tears.


I also managed to run in to a camp person at the event, an old timer. something about JCA that brings people together, no matter where in the world I am. makes me feel a bit warm and fuzzy inside.

Following a very interesting visit to the murmur, Caroline, Charlotte and I headed to Cafe Van Kleef, another super hipster spot. there was a $7 cover and since all 3 of us are scrubs we ended up in our very favorite Ruby Room. the Ruby Room, another local hipster favorite has a different zing to it. situated right by the lake, it draws an eclectic crowd, but loyal to its Oakland roots. it's name speaks for itself, the inside is dim and, well, ruby. the DJ's always playing some oldies, and these kids getting all hyphy again. This is the spot if you want to meet some interesting characters or strike up a friendly conversation. Also a good place if you are sad and lonely and want to just sit in the dark corner and write in your journal.


Besides visiting the Oaksterdam district that I currently reside in I went to Vegas last weekend.
In short:
clubs
bad music
people humping on the dance floor
drugs
booze
limos
strip clubs
lap dances, or should i say... nothing lap about it.
buffet
tequila
chicken fried steak
no money

yep that about sums it up. everything else stays in Vegas, including all my money. I was supposed to bring good luck to the tables as it was my first time, and maybe I did to those around me. But I left empty handed, and even in the negative.

I decided to do things different and being frustrated and anxious about things not falling in to place is giving me such a bad attitude. so starting today I will do 1 thing to work towards my goal every day. i realized that nothing happens over night and this step by step will take me to more places than i would be going to at this rate. i'm hella gonna make this work. i welcome myself to East Bay....

currently listening to The Bird and the Bee.